but my dex is fucked. Like, truly
bad, –4 or some shit. A value so egregious
I can’t mulligan my way outta this one.
I tell my former boss &       You need
     to report. For others. To make the world
         safer.       Always a “solution” offered
that amounts to    <calculating>     subzero. I’m not yet
              a definable statistic, the what-we’re-
                                                                         working-
                                                                                       with.
     I don’t know his name & still
I’m responsible for reformation       or liberation
or finding Jesus       or [insert teleological
outcome here]. What about the DM who learned
role-playing was nothing more than steering
a nonexistent narrative?     The kid who internalized
parental model no. 245: value derived from
                                       others’ desire?
              The state of Nevada
offers restitution in the form of reimbursement
   for a kit you <must> pay for, after which
   you <must> retell the story to a blue-coat who wants
specificity      all the Ws      the moment it happened
         for document alphanumeric 00TooHigh
                              that rarely equals conviction.
                                    & such making-whole only happens
          when the illusory C-word triggers — which,
          when “accomplished,” hasn’t meaningfully
          reduced any rate.
A repetend of reporting     the pyrrhic coup de grâce
if, & then, a string of badge numbers, worn by indifference,
believes you.
                    I’m trying to love myself — yes —
                  but carry stories
                born of flesh.      I wish for a word:
<the nonplussed expression after seeing your blood
                                                                on another>    //
           I’d neologize tho histrionic is already mine, invisible
         except in blue light below So it goes tattooed
        on my 18-year-old wrist, memento vivere.    I admit:
                                                           I didn’t contact RPD.
  Maybe I’ve failed everyone, DC too high.
& & & I’m still, here.